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Criminal Confessions

Writer's picture: ChrisChris


The criminality confessed at this week's Outlaws Meeting was, to this innocent member, mind boggling.

Christchurch’s criminal justice system can only be thankful it need not deal with these confessors from the underworld because our code, ‘What happens at Sunrise stays at Sunrise’ saves specific info getting out and swamping the system.


Because we cannot identify protagonists I have combined the transgressions into one conglomerate male criminal personality and ask, “Really, would you want to belong to a group that has this person as a member?”


This typical Outlaw Sunrise Member will drink lager for breakfast, just because he can. He has no regard for Ride Sharing and will stick it to ‘The Man,’at least until he hears of the suffering orphans deprived and conscience overcomes him.

He stuffs neighbours bins with multitudinous piles of his own rubbish and grows dope in commercial quantities. He is an acid head who goes on the town drinking and when caught breaking a law in a redlight district tries to escape using another’s identity. His crimes stretch right into the heart of the commercial world, and as a white-collar criminal he indulges in price fixing and putting the squeeze on small businesses.


Apart from such societal transgressions we are a very nice group of people who also see UFOs and like to get away and indulge in non-criminal fun times.


You may have been put off a little by the confessions of the dirty dealers, but as a member once said, “In the colouring book of life, it doesn’t matter if you go over the edges, as long as you stay on the page.”

Sunrise Toastmasters is a very interesting page to inhabit.


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