We are now into our humorous speech competition season.
I believe that Surprise and Connection are the main attributes of humour.
Surprise happens through such moments as a turn of phrase, a misdirection or many other methods that bring your audience delight.
Below is a bunch of collected clues and cues from various sources to help get you laughs.
As well as those sources attributed to, Steve Martin contributed also, but it is so long ago I'm not sure how or where or even if my memory is complete.
Best wishes with your speeches. The more you do the better you will become.
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The Stand Up Comedy Clinic | Breakthrough Comedy
13 Major Comedy Structures
Breaking the comedy DNA!
By Jerry Corley 13 Major Comedy Structures The Stand Up Comedy Clinic 1213 W. Magnolia Blvd., Burbank, CA 91506
13 COMEDY STRUCTURES
For years comedians and humor writers have argued that there are only a few jokes. What they mean by that is that there are only a few types of joke structures or formulas. These are like a musician’s scales. You learn to play them and you can build any song with them. In your case you’ll be building comedic bits, stories and acts.
You’ll notice that the underlying framework of all the formulas is to set up an assumption and shatter the assumption. Or create surprise by making the audience think that you are going to say or do one thing, then doing another. Most comedy formulas have this underlying element of shattering an assumed expectation to get a laugh using the following formulas:
DOUBLE ENTENDRES – the plays on words that include cliché reformations and take-offs..
Double Entendre Examples
John McKay, former head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers was having a horrible season. The team couldn’t do anything right. During a press conference after a loss, the press asked McKay a question: “What are your thoughts on the execution of the offense?” McKay responded, “I’d be okay with that.”
Could you see how this double entendre formula could be used in script writing in a variety of scenes using different subject matter?
REVERSES – trick the audience by a last second switch in the point of view.
“I woke up in the hotel and the housekeeper was banging on the door, just banging…finally, I had to get up and let her out!”
I was trying to teach my daughter how to tie her shoes and she’s like: “I can’t Dad, I can’t! I said, “How many times have I told you not to use that word… I am not your Dad!”
I went to my girlfriend’s house to beg her to take me back. I was banging on the door, yelling, “Stacy! Stacy!—which is weird, ‘cuz her name is Emily.
I’ve been losing my hair. Does it bother you? It bothers me—not your hair loss—mine! One time would be like in the mornings when my wife is running her fingers through my hair—but I already left for work!
See how the listener or reader gets a visual image of “running her fingers through my hair…?” Then the image is shattered with ” …but I already left for work…”
TRIPLES – also known as the 3-way build up. They build tension and manipulate the framework toward an expected result by using two seemingly logical words followed by a third absurd exaggeration, thus shattering the assumption of the implied framework.
“Did you know that ‘Synistriphobia’ is the fear of having something to your left side. ‘Dextraphobia’ is the fear of having something to your right side. What’s the fear of having something behind you? I guess they call that ‘homophobia.’
Or this triple, the one that got me a job writing for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno:
“Oahu, Hawaii lost power to the entire island. Yeah, Traffic lights were out, Court buildings were shut down, and a vacationing Don King was seen with flat hair.”
INCONGRUITY – when there are two dissimilar ideas converging into one idea. Otherwise known as juxtaposing contrasting elements. The incongruity structure is commonly referred to as associative comedy or association. This can be accomplished through statements, descriptions or character act-outs. Simply put, take two things that normally don’t go together and put them together. The incongruity joke structure is one of the most commonly used structures in comedy.
I saw a Chinese Restaurant with a sign that said, “Authentic Chinese Cuisine—Se Habla Espanol.”
The incongruity formula is one of the most popular formulas in comedy today. Comedians use it all the time when they give a human quality to inanimate objects. Jerry Seinfeld, for example:
“I don’t think horses know they are racing. I think the horses are standing there thinking. “I know there’s a bag of oats at the end of this trail and I want to get there first.”
SIMPLE TRUTH – is a lot like double-entendre but it uses phrases. It takes the implied truth of the phrase and then the comedian presents that phrase in the comedic or “simple” truth that the words could also mean.
“I remember the first time I had sex. It’s right there on my credit card statement.”
The legendary Steven Wright used this joke:
“This morning, my girlfriend asked me if I slept good. I said, “No, I made a few mistakes.”
“My father was a bastard! He wasn’t a bad guy, he just didn’t know his Dad.”
Simple Truth often uses lyrics, scripture, poetry and metaphor:
If you’ve been to Disneyland you’ve heard the song, ‘It’s a Small World’ The lyrics go,
“It’s a world of joy, its’ a world of tears.
It’s a world of hope, it’s a world of fears…”
Isn’t this a song about being bi-polar?
SUPERIORITY – that encourages the audience to feel superior to silly thoughts or actions, i.e.: self-deprecation, attacking authority (cops, politicians, etc.), or attacking people that think they are better than others.
“I saw this guy at the coffee shop and he had this big wallet tucked into his shorts…you know those big wallets with the chain connected to it and then the chain connects to the pants—like someone’s going to try to steal it from him in the first place? Connected to the chain were some keys. Well his shorts kept coming down and he looked really uncomfortable. So I said, “Dude, you know you have a pocket on the right side of your pants. Maybe you could put your wallet there.” He was like, “Then my keys would be on my right side.”
I’m like, “So?”
“Then you’re a fag!”
“What? You mean if you wear your keys on your left side, you’re straight, but if you wear your keys on the right side you’re gay?”
He said, “That’s right.”
I said, “Dude, where I come from, if you wear keys at all…you’re a janitor!”
PAIRED PHRASES – that utilize the rhythms of antonyms, homonyms and synonyms. Also, its common that the paired phrase rhythm can present us with a paradox and audiences love paradox.
“Presidents Obama, Clinton and Bush joined together to raise money for the victims of the earthquake in Haiti. But they will be going under the nicknames of “HOPE,” “GROPE,” and “DOPE.”
Or this one from my student Patrick Kanehan: 13 Major Comedy Structures The Stand Up Comedy Clinic 1213 W. Magnolia Blvd., Burbank, CA 91506
“You know the L.A. Times recently said that you could buy happiness for seventy-five thousand a year. I’ll take mildly pissed off for thirty-five.”
SLAPSTICK – uses physical comedy and “stupidity” to make the audience feel superior by “acting out” the joke. Today, slapstick is more or less a simple act-out. Although some comedians still effectively use the broader physical comedy, but usually the broad physical comedy is reserved for sketch or live-action comedy rather than stand-up, but it’s not ruled out.
OBSERVATION-RECOGNITION - When you discover something we do in our everyday lives and put it under a magnifying glass reliving it for the audience with a little exaggeration. Observational humor is very powerful. Especially when you really key in on something that is recognizable by your audience. You can either observe everyday things. Signs, or commercials or complications:
Instructions for plugging in a USB jack: Attempt to plug in. Turn over, attempt to plug in again…turn over, attempt to plug in again.
Is it me or is removing the cellophane from a CD just a practical joke?
How come dogs never have boogers in their noses, yet they have boogers in their eyes? Why? And don't their noses remind you of little electrical outlets? You just want to plug things in.
You ever blow your nose and it is so successful, you just want to do it again? 13 Major Comedy Structures The Stand Up Comedy Clinic 1213 W. Magnolia Blvd., Burbank, CA 91506
…and why do we always look at the handkerchief after we blow our nose?
Do youI saw this commercial, it said, "Ex-Lax, works overnight by 8AM... what if you oversleep?
You ever see that commercial for Cialis? It says, "If you experience an erection that lasts more than four hours, call your doctor. Hey, if I experience an erection that lasts more than four hours, I'm calling everyone.
The best comedians also remember to include behaviors. When identifying humor in their everyday lives:
“Dear Abby, this guy I’ve been seeing has gotten me pregnant. I want to have an abortion but I’m not sure our relationship is at the level to discuss money…” “When his dick went into your vagina…the relationship is at that level.”
Boyfriend - Girlfriend – you know you’re in for a long night when your girlfriend says to you, “Can I tell you something and you promise not to get mad?”
My mother is eccentric: she called the other day and was like, “I think your sister’s ex-husband wants to kill her.” I said, “Mom, did you call the police?” She’s like, “No, he still owes her money!”
COMPARE & CONTRAST – This is when you impose surprise on the reader or listener by stating a complex direction and then going simple. They think you’re getting “all technical on them” then you pull the rug out by being as simple as possible.
“I know that I have complex skin…my boyfriend is pretty sure he has a face” – Cathy Ladman
“I just broke up with my girlfriend. We had to, we were just not compatible. You see, I am a Capricorn and she was a… bitch.”
COMEDIC IRONY – Let’s look at irony. Irony has taken on different meanings over the years. If we were to look at the dictionary’s definition of irony, we would find a different definition than the definition most commonly applied in comedy. - the expression of one’s meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect: “ Don’t go overboard with the gratitude, ” he rejoined with heavy irony
- a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result: [with clause]: the irony is that I thought he could help me -
(also dramatic or tragic irony) a literary technique, originally used in Greek tragedy, by which the full significance of a character’s words or actions are clear to the audience or reader although unknown to the character.
Comedy uses the definition that is more suited to “dramatic irony.”
Dramatic irony usually associates itself—like in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet — with a situation that occurs that is a surprise and will undo or affect the main character. What makes it ironic is that someone—the audience—or another individual or character entity in the story knows about it. humour
For example, in “Romeo and Juliet,”. Romeo finds Juliet and believes she is dead. So torn apart is Romeo, that he kills himself. But what he doesn’t know is that Juliet took a potion that made her appear to be dead and instead, she is in a deep sleep. Juliet awakes to find that Romeo is dead and kills herself. How’s that for a love story?!
One of the problems with irony in comedy is that it can be a bit of a puzzle for the audience. You need to have an audience that is there for comedy. Irony does not contain a “hit-you-over-the-head” surprise like a good reverse. So when you use irony in humor
construction, it’ll usually bring about a subtle response, unless it’s poignant or profound. As in the audience is amazed at the discovery where they are thinking “Wow, what a coincidence!”
In the classic story of Oedipus Rex, unaware that he was adopted, unknowingly fulfilled a prophecy of killing his father and marrying his mother.
“I was poor. In our neighbourhood, it was common for men to have one family on one side of town and another family on the other side of town. I didn’t meet my sister ‘til I was 16…we were on our third date.”
Another example of irony is when we can take an authority and reveal a level of hypocrisy or one-hundred-and-eighty-degree incongruity.
Here’s an example from another student of mine, David Conolly:
"My father had one of the toughest jobs in the world. He was a priest in a mental hospital… Think about it; his job as a priest was to teach people that there is (pointing to the heavens), someone watching them at all times. And his congregation—patients in the mental hospital were there because they believed that he was a priest in a place where people go who have the illusion that someone is watching them at all times…"
Legendary comedian, George Carlin, used comedic irony all the time. One of his classic opening lines:
“You ever realize that the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck anyway?!”
One of my students Vicki Godal used this line:
“You ever realize that people who don’t believe in climate change; they think it’s just part of the earth’s natural evolution, are the same people who don’t believe in evolution?”
BENIGN RETALIATION - This is a formula I've been working on for many years now. Like the planet Pluto was removed as a planet and called a moon, because it lacked certain criteria, 'Benign Retaliation,' had all the elements necessary to be included as a full-blown Joke Formula.
Humans love pay back. We love to get back at somebody who has done us wrong, or led us astray, or gave us bad information or lied to us without really shooting them stabbing them or otherwise causing them bodily harm. If we do cause them bodily harm, it is usually done in fantasy using a "what if" scenario. Benign Retaliation is very powerful in comedy because it attacks out of revenge, which is almost the precise reason we do comedy.
Let's take a look at some examples of Benign Retaliation:
One of my students, wrote this one:
I come home from work one night and my wife is frantically cleaning the house. I'm like, "Honey, what's going on? We expecting company? She's like, "Yeah, tomorrow! The housekeeper!" I'm like why are you cleaning? That's what she's for! It's job security!" I love my wife, so I helped her clean...but I got her back. Saturday morning I set the alarm for six A.M. I pop out of bed. She says, "What's going on?" I said, "Get up. We gotta mow the lawn...Gardeners are going to be here in an hour!"
You can see clear retaliation in that joke. Audiences love this type of humor. They relate to it instantly, because it's something they recognize and it's something they can use in their own lives...
I do a bit on tolerance toward gay people and in my bit I use this to attack the perceived authority:
"Focus on the Family founder, James Dobson, said this gem the other day. He said, "If we allow gays to parent, they will raise gay children."
ME: "We interrupt this comedy show, to bring you a special bulletin...straight parents have been raising gay children for centuries.."
If you think about it, you can probably find tons of benign retaliation stories in your life that you can use in your comedy.
You ever get into a discussion with your significant other, or someone at the bank, and you think of what you should have said after the discussion. That's one way to come up with this type of material.
One time I was with a girl who cheated on me. Halloween rolled around and she said, "I don't know what to be for Halloween." I said, "Why don't you just dress normally and tell people you're pretending to be someone who's in a committed relationship."
Are you starting to see how most good material comes from real life?
PARADOX – The 13th comedy structure. I love Paradox. The reason why I chose to include paradox as the 13th structure is that it encompasses incongruity and irony. By its definition, Paradox doesn’t quite reach the criteria threshold of the definition of irony, people laugh at it like it is ironic. People also often confuse paradox with irony. Paradox is defined as “A statement that contradicts itself, yet might be true.” Also at its most basic level, a paradox is a statement that is self-contradictory because it often contains two statements that are both true, but in general, cannot both be true at the same time.
Let’s take a look at some examples:
“We refer to distance in time;
‘How far is it to the store?
‘About fifteen minutes…’
’ It doesn’t work the other way around at all:
‘What time do you get off work?’
‘About five miles.’”
My accountant sucks; he’s too honest.
It’s the beginning of the end
Instructions for your DVD player: “To set up your new DVD player, play the setup DVD”.
“If you’re having problems with your phone… call 1-800…
Deep down she’s really shallow…
Paradox allows you to think inversely:
Our detergent gets blood stains out of your shirt better than the leading detergent. If you have blood stains in your dress shirts, I think detergent is the least of your problems.
There is so much there with paradox that just reading paradoxical statements can inspire you to write your own.
Paradox is much like irony in that it engages both hemispheres of the listener’s brain. When this happens, you are beginning to take your comedy to the next level.
Don’t Forget the Tags & Toppers
Joke Structure: Setup – Punchline – Tag, Tag, Tag….or act out tag. An act-out is a tag that is physicalized.(Slapstick)
I’m Irish and American Indian. You know what that means…I pretty much have V.I.P. seats waiting for me at any A.A. meeting.
Tag: I show up to one of those meetings, and it’s like “Hey Running Bear-O’Reilly, we have a chair for you in the front row.
Act Out: I go in, “Hey you got one of them special coins? I gotta get me a beer!
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Below is a list of tricks that people use to try and win arguments and get an upper hand. These are worth learning so that you don't get sucked in when someone uses them to try and win an argument and because these absurdities when pointed out can be a rich source of comedy.
STRAW MAN
Misrepresenting someone’s argument to
make it easier to attack.
After Will said that we should put more money into
health and education, Warren responded by saying that
he was surprised that Will hates our country so much
that he wants to leave it defenceless by cutting
military spending.
TEXAS SHARP SHOOTER
Cherry-picking data clusters to suit an
argument, or finding a pattern to fit a
presumption.
The makers of Sugarette Candy Drinks point to
research showing that of the five countries where
Sugarette drinks sell the most units, three of them are in
the top ten healthiest countries on Earth, therefore
Sugarette drinks are healthy.
AD HOMINEM
Attacking your opponent’s character
or personal traits in an attempt to
undermine their argument.
After Sally presents an eloquent and compelling case
for a more equitable taxation system, Sam asks the
audience whether we should believe anything from a
woman who isn’t married, was once arrested, and
smells a bit weird.
LOADED QUESTION
Asking a question that has an
assumption built into it so that it can’t be
answered without appearing guilty.
Grace and Helen were both romantically interested in
Brad. One day, with Brad sitting within earshot, Grace
asked in an inquisitive tone whether Helen was having
any problems with a fungal infection.
GAMBLERS FALLACY
Believing that ‘runs’ occur to statistically
independent phenomena such as roulette
wheel spins.
Red had come up six times in a row on the roulette
wheel, so Greg knew that it was close to certain that
black would be next up. Suffering an economic form of
natural selection with this thinking, he soon lost all of
his savings.
BANDWAGON
Appealing to popularity or the fact that
many people do something as an
attempted form of validation.
Shamus pointed a drunken finger at Sean and asked
him to explain how so many people could believe in
leprechauns if they’re only a silly old superstition.
Sean, however, had had a few too many Guinness
himself, and fell off his chair.
BLACK OR WHITE
Where two alternative states are
presented as the only possibilities, when
in fact more possibilities exist.
Whilst rallying support for his plan to fundamentally
undermine citizens’ rights, the Supreme Leader told
the people they were either on his side, or on the side
of the enemy.
BEGGING THE QUESTION
A circular argument in which the
conclusion is included in the premise.
The word of Zorbo the Great is flawless and perfect. We
know this because it says so in The Great and Infallible
Book of Zorbo’s Best and Most Truest Things that are
Definitely True and Should Not Ever Be Questioned.
APPEAL TO AUTHORITY
Using the opinion or position of an
authority figure, or institution of
authority, in place of an actual argument.
Not able to defend his position that evolution ‘isn’t true’
Bob says that he knows a scientist who also questions
evolution (and presumably isn’t a primate).
APPEAL TO NATURE
Making the argument that because
something is ‘natural’ it is therefore valid,
justified, inevitable, good, or ideal.
The medicine man rolled into town on his bandwagon
offering various natural remedies, such as very special
plain water. He said that it was only natural that
people should be wary of ‘artificial’ medicines such
as antibiotics.
COMPOSITION/DIVISION
Assuming that what’s true about one part
of something has to be applied to all, or
other, parts of it.
Daniel was a precocious child and had a liking for logic.
He reasoned that atoms are invisible, and that he was
made of atoms and therefore invisible too.
Unfortunately, despite his thinky skills, he lost the game
of hide and go seek.
ANECTDOTAL
Using personal experience or an isolated
example instead of a valid argument,
especially to dismiss statistics.
Jason said that that was all cool and everything, but his
grandfather smoked, like, 30 cigarettes a day and lived
until 97 - so don’t believe everything you read about
meta analyses of sound studies showing proven
causal relationships.
NO TRUE SCOTSMAN
Making what could be called an appeal to
purity as a way to dismiss relevant
criticisms or flaws of an argument.
Angus declares that Scotsmen do not put sugar on
their porridge, to which Lachlan points out that he is a
Scotsman and puts sugar on his porridge. Furious, like a
true Scot, Angus yells that no true Scotsman sugars his
porridge.
MIDDLE GROUND
Saying that a compromise, or middle
point, between two extremes is the truth.
Holly said that vaccinations caused autism in children,
but her scientifically well-read friend Caleb said that this
claim had been debunked and proven false. Their friend
Alice offered a compromise that vaccinations cause
some autism.
GENETIC
Judging something good or bad on the
basis of where it comes from, or from
whom it comes.
Accused on the 6 o’clock news of corruption and taking
bribes, the senator said that we should all be very wary
of the things we hear in the media, because we all
know how very unreliable the media can be.
AMBIGUITY
Using double meanings or ambiguities of
language to mislead or misrepresent
the truth.
When the judge asked the defendant why he hadn't
paid his parking fines, he said that he shouldn't have to
pay them because the sign said 'Fine for parking here'
and so he naturally presumed that it would be fine to
park there.
FALSE CAUSE
Presuming that a real or perceived
relationship between things means that
one is the cause of the other.
Pointing to a fancy chart, Roger shows how
temperatures have been rising over the past few
centuries, whilst at the same time the numbers of
pirates have been decreasing; thus pirates cool the
world and global warming is a hoax.
THE FALLACY FALLACY
Presuming that because a claim has been
poorly argued, or a fallacy has been made,
that it is necessarily wrong.
Recognising that Amanda had committed a fallacy in
arguing that we should eat healthy food because a
nutritionist said it was popular, Alyse said we should
therefore eat bacon double cheeseburgers every day.
APPEAL TO EMOTION
Manipulating an emotional response in
place of a valid or compelling argument.
Luke didn’t want to eat his sheep’s brains with chopped
liver and brussell sprouts, but his father told him to
think about the poor, starving children in a third world
country who weren’t fortunate enough to have any
food at all.
TU QUOQUE
Avoiding having to engage with criticism
by turning it back on the accuser -
answering criticism with criticism.
The blue candidate accused the red candidate of
committing the tu quoque fallacy. The red candidate
responded by accusing the blue candidate of the same,
after which ensued an hour of back and forth criticism
with not much progress.
BURDEN OF PROOF
Saying that the burden of proof lies not
with the person making the claim, but
with someone else to disprove.
Bertrand declares that a teapot is, at this very moment,
in orbit around the Sun between the Earth and Mars,
and that because no one can prove him wrong his
claim is therefore a valid one.
PERSONAL INCREDULITY
Saying that because one finds something
difficult to understand that it’s therefore
not true.
Kirk drew a picture of a fish and a human and with
effusive disdain asked Richard if he really thought we
were stupid enough to believe that a fish somehow
turned into a human through just, like, random things
happening over time.
SPECIAL PLEADING
Moving the goalposts to create exceptions
when a claim is shown to be false.
Edward Johns claimed to be psychic, but when his
‘abilities’ were tested under proper scientific conditions,
they magically disappeared. Edward explained this
saying that one had to have faith in his abilities for
them to work.
SLIPPERY SLOPE
Asserting that if we allow A to happen,
then Z will consequently happen too,
therefore A should not happen.
Colin Closet asserts that if we allow same-sex couples
to marry, then the next thing we know we’ll be
allowing people to marry their parents, their cars and
even monkeys.
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https://www.firstthings.com/blogs/firstthoughts/2009/12/the-syllogisms-of-seinfeld
'There is more logic in humour than in anything else. Because, you see, humour is truth. '— Victor Borge
Comedians aren’t often known for their critical thinking skills and Mr. Spock —the Vulcan embodiment of cool logic—wasn’t known for his jokes. So at first glance, it might appear that humor and logic belong to completely separate spheres. Humour is playful, lively, and unbounded by procedural standards. Logic, in contrast, is serious, strict, and completely circumscribed by rules and processes. Humor is tied to emotion while logic is above such non-rational ephemera. But in an article for Philosophy Now, Julia Nefsky argues that logic has a very real and very important role in humour:
The range of humour in which there is logic and logical fallacy is huge. By logic and fallacy being in humour, I mean that there is some logic or fallacy there that is necessary to what makes it funny. In other words, if you hypothetically removed that logic or fallacy, the joke would not work. You’ll find logic and logical fallacies in all kinds of humorous works, including those of Shakespeare, Lewis Carroll, Monty Python, the Marx Brothers, Abbott and Costello, Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Steve Martin, Stephen Leacock, Douglas Adams, and even television shows like Beavis and Butthead.
Also, logic and fallacies are used in many different comics, including Garfield, Calvin and Hobbes, and Peanuts. And there are lots of great examples in the work of stand-up comedians like Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Cosby, George Carlin, and Henny Youngman. In fact, basically everywhere you look in humour there will be some bits in which logic or fallacy is used in a significant way - sometimes just a couple can be found, and other times they are all over the place!
Every time logic or a fallacy is used in humour it serves a specific role. I have found that a convenient way of classifying examples is in terms of three roles that seem to cover all the significant ways logic and fallacy are used in humour: essence, enhancer, and mechanism
In the article, Nefsky explains each of these terms and provides examples of how they are used. Although she provides adequate illustrations, I’ve taken the liberty of using her roles but replacing the examples with ones from episodes of Seinfeld . Needless to say, these examples are funnier if—like me—you’ve seen every episode at least six times.
Roles of Essence — The logic or fallacy used serves as the essence of what makes it funny. In these cases, other aspects might enhance the humour, but the logic or fallacy is precisely what makes it funny, such that without it there is no humour left.
Type #1 — Equivocation: the name of the most common informal fallacy used in humour and usually it is the essence of what is funny. Equivocation occurs when two different meanings or senses of the same word(s) are used as if equivalent. In humour equivocation is often played out with two people—where one person says something implying one meaning and the other person takes it as if another meaning was intended.
“I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he’s converted to Judaism purely for the jokes.”
“And this offends you as a Jewish person?”
“No, it offends me as a comedian.”
- Jerry and Father Curtis, in “The Yada Yada”
“You are still afraid? You are not a man.”
“Well, then what are all those ties and sports jackets doing in my closet?”
- Gina and Jerry, in “The Suicide”
“I still can’t believe you’re going out on a blind date.”
“I’m not worried. It sounds like he’s really good looking.”
“You’re going by sound? What are we, whales?”
- Jerry and Elaine, in “The Wink”
“Wait. Those are the clothes from the bag!”
“The guy never came back.”
“He asked you to watch them, not wear them.”
“I’m still watching them.”
- Jerry and George, in “The Muffin Tops”
Type #2 — Contradiction — One thing in logic that is often used in humour and that usually serves the role of essence is known as contradiction or absurdity. This occurs when contradictory statements are given or implied, producing a nonsensical, absurd situation. In terms of formal logic, this is like having both “A” and “not A” (where A could be substituted with anything). In formal logic having both “A” and “not A” simultaneously is considered always false, or as some logicians say: absurd.
“What if something happens?”
“What could happen?”
“What if it felt good?”
“It’s supposed to feel good.”
“I don’t want it to feel good.”
“Then why get the massage?”
“Exactly!”
- George, discussing a massage given by a male masseuse, with Elaine, in “The Note”
Type #3 — False Cause — There is an informal fallacy called False Cause that is used in humour and that often has the role of the essence. False Cause happens when it is assumed that simply because A has preceded B, A has caused B.
“No doctors for me. A bunch of lackeys and yes-men all towing the company line. Plus, they botched my vasectomy.”
“They botched it?”
“I’m even more potent now!”
- Kramer and Jerry, in “The Andrea Doria”
The Role of Enhancer — the logic or fallacy adds to the essence of what is funny to make it even funnier.
Type #1 — Hasty Generalizations — occurs when a generalization is made from too few cases or, as often seen in humour, when the generalization is obviously not true as a literal statement (a clear exaggeration).
“So, what you are saying is that ninety to ninety-five per cent of the population is undateable?”
“Undateable!”
“Then how are all these people getting together?”
“Alcohol.”
- Elaine and Jerry, in “The Wink”
“What is it about sex that just disrupts everything? Is it the touching? Is it the nudity?”
“It can’t be the nudity. I never got into these terrible fights and misunderstandings when I was changing before gym class.”
- George and Jerry, in “The Deal”
“All bald people look good in hats.”
“You should have lived in the twenties and thirties, you know men wore hats all the time then.”
“What a bald paradise that must have been. Nobody knew.”
- George and Elaine, in “The Parking Spot”
The Role of Mechanism — the logic or fallacy is what gets you from one thought to another. When formal logic takes on the role of mechanism, valid logic is used to get the reader or audience to make a certain inference from one idea to another.
“Well, behind every joke there’s some truth.”
“What about that Bavarian cream pie joke I told you? There’s no truth to that. Nobody with a terminal illness goes from the United States to Europe for a piece of Bavarian cream pie and then when they get there and they don’t have it he says, ‘Ah, I’ll just have some coffee.’ There’s no truth to that.”
- Sheila and Jerry, in “The Soup Nazi”
“God would never let me be successful. He’d kill me first. He’ll never let me be happy.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in God?”
“I do for the bad things.”
- George and his therapist, in “The Pilot”
“I’ve been lying about my income for a few years. I figured I could afford a fake house in the Hamptons.”
- George, in “The Wizard”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m not saying anything.”
“You’re saying something.”
“What could I be saying?”
“Well, you’re not saying nothing. You must be saying something.”
“If I was saying something, I would’ve said it.”
“Why don’t you say it?”
“I said it.”
“What’d you say?”
“Nothing.”
- Jerry and Elaine, in “The Red Dot”
“It’s a write-off for them.”
“How is it a write-off?”
“They just write it off.”
“Write it off what?”
“Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.”
“You don’t even know what a write-off is.”
“Do you?”
“No, I don’t.”
“But they do. And they’re the ones writing it off.”
“I wish I had the last twenty seconds of my life back.”
- Kramer and Jerry, in “The Package”
My philosophical stance maybe?
FIRST IT HAS TO BE FUNNY - SECOND IT MIGHT MAKE SENSE.
“I perform in tons of different places, so what has worked best for me over the years has just simply opened with an observation, or little joke about the venue, or town I am performing in. That allows you to establish your comedic presence without just seeming like you're just "doing your act."
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