Currently, all at Sunrise wear masks during a meeting, taking them off to speak and during the tea break.
The styles and methods of wearing have been studied in depth by a member who is interested in sharing their observations.
I interviewed ‘Said Member’ this week to bring their knowledge to a greater audience.
Interviewer:
Hello.
Said Member:
Hello.
Interviewer:
I note that you wish to remain anonymous.
Said Member:
As an independent student of masking, I recognise a bias could influence mask-wearing by Sunrise Members in my presence in the future. It is better that no-one knows my identity.
Interviewer:
This has nothing to do with a worry that you may be attacked by irate maskers in future?
Said Member:
This is a totally scholastic study so there will be no reason for anyone to become upset with its findings.
Interviewer:
Please briefly summarise the findings of your study.
Said Member:
There are essentially 5 mask types. a) Standard disposable, white inside, blue outside which is occasionally worn blue inside and white outside. The reverse wearing can be broken down to - 1. Because the wearer does not know there is a right and wrong way and…
2. We have a rebel in our ranks.
Interviewer:
Surely there would be no rebel among the upright Sunrise Toastmasters who meet religiously in the middle of the city at 7.00 am every Thursday morning?
Said Member:
You may be surprised. Compulsory mask-wearing has been discussed as a means toward easily pulling a bank heist and getting away with no identification.
Interviewer:
This is why you are concerned for your anonymity, you don't want to be identified as a nark?
Said Member:
I will ignore that. There are, as mentioned, a further 4 mask types.
The Black Mask. These are good Kiwi patriots who identify with the New Zealand uniform of black. However, the black mask is also associated with baddies and rebels. Baddies and rebels have been overheard discussing the compulsory wearing of masks as a means to easily pull a bank heist and get away with no identification.
Interviewer:
And Masks 3 to 5?
Said Member:
3. The Floral mask. An indication that the wearer is a Greenie, loves nature and gardening and is in a position to cunningly disarm a bank teller until the final moment when they pull the “this is a robbery, put all your cash in this hessian bag.”
Interviewer:
And 4 and 5?
Said Member:
The NZ P2 mask is designed to not follow the shape of one's face, so even a better disguise when the cops are inspecting the security camera footage. You are always good for a clean getaway in a P2.
And finally, the good old WW2 gas mask just needs to be mentioned because it looks so cool. You may have difficulty getting into a bank in this one but give it a go is what I say. No one will know who the hell you are. You could come across simply as a senile old soldier and perfectly harmless. You may even be welcomed in carrying your army surplus Lee Enfield 303. Great for a hostage situation.
There is a 6th which I won't mention because it is the kind I like to wear when I visit my bank. Resembling a vampire, it is very scary and I like to keep it as a fun surprise so please leave mention of that off the record.
Interviewer:
This has been very enlightening.
Said Member:
But I’m not finished.
There are some distinct ways of attaching the masks to our faces, as demonstrated at this last week's meeting.
I note that there is
a.)The standard simple ear loop.
b.) The double ear loop twist.
c.) The top head bow.
Each of these methods has been referred to my psychologist for further understanding.
My psychologist remarks:
a.) One who easily fits into a crowd, able to circulate freely without standing out. One who might easily slip away anonymously after a bank heist.
b.) While fitting easily into a crowd, meticulous in their preparation and operative procedures. Carrying a mean streak and a danger in any banking situation.
c.) A total danger to all they encounter. Looks like Bugs bunny but acts like Elmer Fudd.
Interviewer:
Thank you for your insights Said Member. I suppose you are now going to publish such in some tertiary journal.
Said Member:
Never you mind what I’m going to do. And I better remain anonymous. Capice!
Editor:
If you are interested in bank heists, public speaking, having more confidence or progressing on one of the many leadership paths offered by Toastmasters, come along and check out a few of our meetings at Sunrise Toastmasters. More information is available on this website.
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